MORE THOUGHTS

I did not write my previous post to try and get some sort of recognition on what a good mother I am - although it was appreciated thanks for all your messages!

I did not write it to compare my feelings and problems with what anyone else is going through at this time. There is nothing to compare. We are all at different stages with different kids.

I did not write it to make myself look good. I have so much to learn.

I wrote it to present to you a journey that I think we all go through as mothers. We are all trying our hardest. We all make mistakes. The key is to learn from those mistakes and when we learn to do better we should change.

I wrote it to remind myself later that I am trying my best. Sometimes that means I have to reevaluate and change some things to become even better.

I do not think that it is a bad thing to talk to other mothers or to read their experiences. I can learn from those around me. I can take the good and see if it will fit into my life and I can make this motherhood experience better for me and for my children. I did find myself comparing myself too much. That is where the danger comes in. When we talk to other mothers and we try to get advice we cannot compare ourselves to them. We have to take their advice and tweek it to fit our needs and most importantly the needs of our children.

For example. I have a huge routine at my house. We eat around the same time everyday. We get ready for bed in the same way. We have showers and baths on the same nights each week. We still have rest time - even though no one around here sleeps anymore. Rest time is sacred to me. I need it to recharge myself. To get somethings accomplished. When the kids are off school they still rest in their rooms for a few hours after lunch. They don't always like it. I know they are getting too big for it, but I need it. So I am going to do it as long as I can. For me this works. Routine, schedule, for me this is sanity. For others it is not. They don't like to be tied down. They like to be spontaneous. I know that this works for me. I can't live without it. For you figure out what works for you.

I know that there are mothers out there who struggle daily with problems I cannot imagine. I know that they are stronger than I will ever be. I can't imagine the problems that some face. I am not comparing me to them, but that doesn't make my concerns and my problems trivial. They are big concerns to me. We all are faced with trials in our lives. I truly believe that part of those trials is how we endure them.

I know that I will never have another chance to raise Madi as an 8 year old. I will never get to see Cooper in first grade again. I will never get to teach Rylee the things I am teaching her at 2 years old. Although I have had other 2-year-olds in this house - they have not been Rylee. They were different. There needs were different. Their personalities are different. I do not want to miss out on any of these phases. Not only that but I want to do my best. I can't get them back to redo later. I can't try again later to fix small problems. By then they are big ones.

I think that motherhood, if done correctly, is the hardest job on earth. As my father-in-law wrote me this weekend, "If Heavenly Father expected you to be perfect he would have given you a manual." Great advice John. So true. I am not expected to be perfect, but I am expected to do my best. That is all we can do.

Don't compare yourself to others.

Don't feel like you can't make it through whatever trial you might be facing as a mother.

Just learn from your mistakes and make changes that will improve not only your life, but the lives of your children.

Then spend the time to look for the rewards - what ever those may be. A hug and a kiss at night. A long talk with a child about their concerns and worries. There are rewards in the journey called motherhood and they are what I live for and what keep me trying to be better. Not just for me, but for my children.